Afterwards
It has been three years since Kate died. Her Mother, Jean, has written an article for the Guardian “‘There will be an afterwards’: how a mother prepared her sons for her death” and a book called “Afterwards“.
Click the book cover to order "Late Fragments: Everything I Want to Tell You (About This Magnificent Life)"
the nuisance 
Dear Billy Thank you so very much for sending me this email I don’t normally take the Guardian but I have just been out to buy a copy so that I can read the article by Kate’s mum And I so look forward to reading her book “Afterwards” Do you still take the boys to the Crib Service at Trinity on Christmas Eve? Sadly I couldn’t go this year Kate would have been/is so very proud of you – looking after the boys and being so successful with Owlstone
My wife died 4 years ago – we had been married for 62 years – and I so want there to be an “after-life” where we shall meet up again when I die but as a scientist I want proof………… But here’s hoping……. My very best wishes to you all for a very happy New Year…and continued success with Owlstone Tony
I do so want there to be an “after-life” where we shall all meet up again with our loved ones but as a scientist sadly I need proof ……………..
However I live in hope……………..
Found this courtesy of the Guardian. Wow. What amazing, frank, insightful stuff.
I received my own incurable diagnosis in 2012, though no one knows how long it will take to play out. My kids, like Kate and Billy’s, are far too young to deserve to go through this.
I hope I can retain the dignity and clearheaded pragmatism expressed here.
Thank you so much for writing it.
Alex
Lets hope it takes a long long time to play out. Thabk you for leaving a comment. We reallly apppreciate it aand will be thinking about you Jean Gross
So lovely to read this Jean and hear how Isaac and Oscar are doing. Thank you for the update. I had a heavy heart thinking about Kate on Christmas Day. She is still painfully missed.
Hello Kat It’s very good to hear from you . And always to know that Kate is still missed. Hope all is well with you and the children Jean x
Thank you for sharing that Billy. I saw the email pop in my inbox after three years and I got a rush of Kate’s memory. So glad Oscar and Isaac are doing well. I hope you are too.
Reading the links you sent and in particular Jean’s ‘Afterwards’ have helped me enormously. My own son has terminal cancer and has been told he has ‘months’ to live – whatever that means. He lives abroad so we are not as involved as Jean was to him, his wife and children of 9 and 6. However we are going to visit the family next week and reading these pages has enabled me to think more clearly as to how to deal with the whole ghastly situation in a more positive way. Thank you Jean and to Billy for forwarding the link.
Sue I hope your trip went well. My thoughts are with you – it is a hard hard thing to face losing your son. Thank you very much for leaving a comment All best wishes Jean Gross
Thank you for sharing and thinking of Kate
Dear Billy and Jean
Youre just amazing examples of the importance of the afterwards and afterwords; Jean you write so eloquently and poetically-most of us as prematurely bereaved people cannot find the words or language, nor the bravery to continue the conversations.
I’m about to embark on a project you may be interested in; please contact me if you so wish at shelley@griefencounter.org.uk…My best wishes
Dr Shelley Gilbert, President Grief Encounter. http://www.griefencounter.org.uk
Very beautifully written by you Mrs Gross, I had often wondered how the boys were doing since Kate’s passing. I read her lovely book and was very touched by her life. Brilliant to know how the boys are developing and are surrounded by love.
Thank you for your thoughtful contribution to the blog, Jean. When I received my terminal breast cancer diagnosis in 2015 at the age of 32, Kate’s book was a great comfort to me. I still read it every so often. It was lovely to read an update on the lives of those close to her.
And your Guardian article ‘Farewell to my daughter, Kate’ is one of the most moving things I’ve ever read.
Kate was obviously a highly intelligent and caring lady. In Billy she had found the perfect husband and she would have been so proud of Billy and her parents for the way they are bringing up Isaac and Oscar. A wonderful family whose hearts have been broken but who are showing all of us their indomitable spirit. May God bless them all.
Jean, your article about your daughter https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/10/farewell-to-my-daughter-kate-who-died-on-christmas-day inspired me to write something for my own book, Sunflower Wisdom, which I would love to share with you. It is available on Amazon, but I can also send you a digital or printed copy if you can tell me how and where. Thank you!
I wrote my blog today referencing this book. It resonated with me so much. I lost my daughter six years ago. Everyone says I should put my blogs into a book but where to start?
Thinking of you all.
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